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Also posted on nosleep.

Look, I know this is probably the wrong place to write this, but I’ve been pacing for the past hour, wringing my hands, trying to think of what I should do, and I still don’t fucking know. I’ve got to get this written while it’s fresh in my head. Yes, I’m writing this anonymously… I’ve got to be careful.

I’m not sure where to begin, but I’ve just got to get this down. I went hiking this weekend. It was me, two friends from college and a girlfriend of one of them. I’ll call her Trish. The guys were James and Matt. Trish was Matt’s girlfriend. I’d never met her before. She seemed nice enough. Like I said, I knew Matt and James from college. They were perfectly normal. I mean, James was still normal. Fuck, I’m getting ahead of myself.

We went hiking. I don’t remember where we went, it was like Mount… something. I can’t remember! I wasn’t driving. Matt drove. I took a nap in the backseat. It’s not the first time we’d gone hiking, but it’d been about a year? I think. Matt and Trish seemed to know the place, I just trusted them to not get us lost. I didn’t care. Driving back, I just drove aimlessly until I saw a sign for 95 and followed that, never looking back. I was in a haze. I was scared. Fortunately, it was late or I might have gotten pulled over. Then I’d truly be in a world of shit.

So, yeah, we parked on some dirt road and got out our gear and Trish and Matt lead the way. James brought his camera and was taking photos. I was just enjoying the air. I like to walk. I might have been a little stoned at the time. Just a bit. I could use a bit of that right now, actually. And a beer. Hang on.

Feeling better now. Fucking insanity. That’s what it was. Matt and Trish leading the way and James and I following them like two lambs to the slaughter. I thought they were fucking monsters, seriously. I thought they were like some sort of mutation or something.

We walked for hours. The path just kept going, and sometimes I couldn’t even see it, but Trish was up there waving us on and smiling. She was pretty. I liked her hair. It was very black. Raven. Raven black. Her eyes were raven too. She was a raven. You know what they call a flock of ravens? A conspiracy. I’m not making that shit up. It’s apt. They were conspiring. A couple of ravens.

Anyway, uh, it got dark. Like, I wasn’t even paying attention and then suddenly the woods were all black and shadowy. I didn’t have a flashlight because I thought we’d be back on the road by then, but Matt had one on him. James and I were falling all over the place. Fucking roots and tangling limbs. James said something. Oh, right, he asked where the fuck we were.

“Let’s stop and check the map.” Matt said. He had a map on him. I caught up and relaxed against a tree. James and Matt were looking at the map and then Trish came over to me with her own flashlight and shined it right in my face.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” she said. I thought that was a weird thing to be saying.

“You can just go in the bushes.” I said.

“I know that, but will you come with me just to make sure nothing happens?” I couldn’t see her face because the flashlight was right in my eyes. I thought she might be hitting on me, and it made me nervous. I didn’t know this girl and Matt was my friend. But if she was just scared herself, I didn’t want to seem like a dick.

“Sure, I’ll stand nearby and keep an eye out for wolves.” I said. I got up and she got the light out of my face and started walking off. James and Matt were still looking at the map and pointing and talking. I went over and told them, “Trish has to piss. I’m going to guard her. Don’t worry, I’ll keep my back turned.”

I think Matt smiled. No, I’m sure of it. He smiled at Trish. But it wasn’t like a happy smile. It was like two conspirators giving each other a sly grin. I didn’t think that at the time, but I’m sure of it now. I just thought it was an odd grin. He shouldn’t be grinning like that, I thought. Fuck their smiles. Makes me think of teeth. I need another hit.

You sorry motherfucker.

No, that wasn’t it. Uh… Trish lead me away with her flashlight. We just kept going, and I think it started to slope downhill, but I couldn’t see well at all. I was like, “I think we’re far enough away.” and Trish said, “Just a bit further. I don’t want them to be able to hear me go.”

“I’ll be able to hear you go.” I said. Why the fuck did I say that? It made me sound like a pervert.

“Well, whistle or something to drown it out.” She handed me the flashlight. Thank God for that. I shined it on her for a second. She really was pretty. I would never try anything, but if she hadn’t gotten with Matt, I might have. Then again, I certainly wouldn’t now.

I turned away and started whistling to myself. I could still hear her rustling behind me, so I walked a few steps away. I couldn’t see Matt’s flashlight. We were pretty well separated. That was the point. Fuck my head hurts.

No, this really hurts. The whole inside of my forehead is throbbing. I want to relieve it with a bullet. Just press a cold muzzle to my pulsing temple and feel that microsecond of heat as I tunnel out my skull. I wish I owned a gun. I wouldn’t have brought it with me, but boy, it’d be nice to have one now.

There was… a scrambling sound. I stopped whistling when I heard it. She was running. I turned around thinking maybe something had spooked her. Trish came at me like some sort of fucking pack animal. She was on her hands and knees and she pounced like a god damn cat. I didn’t scream or nothing, I was too fucking surprised to make a sound.

She knocked me flat on my ass and then shit just went surreal. My first reaction was, “Oh shit, she’s going to try to fuck me right here in the woods.” but in the second I turned and shined the light on her before she slammed into me and I was staring up with her breath on my face, I saw her face. It burned itself into my brain. Her mouth was open like her jaw had come unhinged. These two crazy-fucking long teeth were sticking out. If you really want to know what I thought, I thought she looked like a snake.

A fucking snake’s mouth.

And that’s what I saw in my mind as she pinned me down. And then she bit into my neck and shit got real. All I could think was “VAMPIRE?!?!” and oh God that feeling of her teeth puncturing my flesh. I went into panic mode. I wrestled my right arm free and then swung the flashlight like a club to the side of her head. It didn’t really phase her, but it hurt enough for her to pull her head back for a second and a second was all I needed.

She grabbed my right arm with both hands and pinned it down. She was hissing just like a fucking snake, and I angled the beam in her face to blind her but also to see because I didn’t like having that vision of her mouth unnaturally wide being the only thing I could see.

It didn’t help.

Her jaw was like out of joint and jutting against the flesh of her head. The teeth that were sticking out were curved slightly and were indeed fangs. Her eyes were wide fucking open and she looked at me and I will have that fucking face in my mind til the day I die. Maybe that’ll be today. Do I really want to keep going after the shit I’ve seen?

She forced the flashlight out of my hand and it rolled away, leaving me in darkness again. At the same moment, I felt around with my left hand and found a small branch. I had to move before she did. All I had to work with was my brief memory of her position before I lost the flashlight. I swung my left arm up and jammed the pointy end of the branch into the side of Trish’s neck.

She naturally jerked away from my attack, pulling the branch out. She didn’t scream like I expected, just gurgled. I could feel her blood, hot and wet, splashing me in the face, and I lurched, throwing her off me. I could see the flashlight a few feet away and rolled over to it.

Trish was flopping in the leaves, clutching at her throat. I had killed her, she just hadn’t died yet. I’ve never fucking killed anything in my life. I would never have done it. It was sheer panic that caused it. All I wanted to see was her face. I wanted to tell myself I had imagined the whole thing. But there she was, thrashing in the leaves and dirt and I could see the blood pumping out between her fingers, and her mouth was hanging open slack and those two fucking teeth sticking out.

She looked right at me as she died.

I checked my own throat. I was bleeding too. I grabbed up some dirt and tried to pack it on my puncture wounds. I don’t know how effective that was. I’m no outdoorsman. I felt wobbly and sick and I think I threw up. Everything was real foggy. My hands were shaking and I had blood all over my chest and face. I sat down for a minute because I didn’t know what the fuck to do. Trish was dead and I had killed her. She had fucking attacked me and unhinged her goddamn face!

It feels like a fucking dream. A horrible, bullshit, nonsensical dream. This sort of shit only happens in movies. What insane parallel world have I fallen into? Maybe this is just a dream. One sick, vivid dream. I’m going to wake up and be like, “that was fucked up.” and then tell James and Matt about it on Facebook.

Except they’re dead. They’re dead, and this is real. And if they’re ever found, everybody’s going to think I did it. Well, I kind of did do it. Maybe I should have called the police and told them. I mean once I got reception. I need another drink.

And another.

Where was I oh right Trish was dead dead dead and I was just sitting there sitting and rocking and hugging my flashlight. I guess it was Trish’s flashlight. She didn’t need it anymore. Then, uh

“Hey, babe, how was he?” it was Matt. He was calling to Trish as he approached the beam of my flashlight. In that moment I knew. The ravens had conspired. He had smiled at her knowing she would try to fucking eat me. He knew she was a monster and he had let me go with her. He wasn’t going to be supportive of me killing her at all. That fucking asshole!

I turned off the flashlight and ducked out of the way of his approaching beam.

“Babe?” he called. I tried to be quiet, but the leaves kept fucking crunching. I hid behind a tree. I could see the flashlight approach and he kept calling her again and again.

“Still eating?” he said. He must be right by her body by now, I thought. I heard him stop just a few feet from me. I was sweating and gripping that flashlight and my neck was throbbing with pain and I was thinking about puking again.

“What the fuck?” I heard the leaves crunching again. He had found Trish. I had to do something. I stepped out from the tree and came at him.

“You sorry motherfucker.” he said at me. He was angry. He shined the flashlight right in my face and I heard a sound like a click but I didn’t really pay attention to it. I just had to do something to him, so I hit him in the face with the flashlight, breaking it. Breaking the flashlight, I mean. The glass shattered, but I had disoriented him and he wobbled backward, falling against a tree. I came at him again but fuck I tripped over Trish’s body and went down, hitting my head.

Suddenly, it was a race to see who could get up first. Fortunately, I had a free hand, so I won. Matt didn’t, but he had a good reason not to. His other hand was holding a knife. I was over him, but as he rose up, he slashed at me with the knife. I’ve got it covered with a bandage right now. It stings rel fucking bad, but it’s not deep. It certainly startled me at the time though.

He slashed me and I used the butt end of the flashlight to punch in his nose. We both yelled. but as I went backward, I reached out and grabbed Matt by the hair. I got a good solid grip in it, and as I tumbled backward over Trish again, I brought a knee up and jammed it into his chin as hard as I could. I hope you bit your fucking tongue off, asshole. I should’ve checked.

He fell limp on top of me and I shoved him off then got up myself as I was draped over Trish’s corpse. he had dropped his flashlight, so I grabbed it. Matt was out cold. He had lost the knife as well. I don’t know where it went. Somewhere in the leaves. I didn’t care. I just didn’t want him getting back up. So I took my broken flashlight and I punched him in the face again. And again. And again. Hard. Until he stopped twitching. His nose was just a fucking mess of blood.

I killed my friend. I can’t believe it. Even as I write about it, I can’t believe what I did. But he was going to murder me. He was going to let his freak fucking girlfriend eat me. I had to do it. That would hold up in court, wouldn’t it? It was self fucking defense.

I don’t remember how long I sat there by them. It might very well have been an hour. Everything was so fucking dark. All I wanted was for someone rational and not out to kill me to come and find me. No, I wanted James to find me. Where was James?

I found James back with the gear. Matt had slit his throat. He was propped up against a tree. At first I thought he was asleep. But he wasn’t, he was dead. His blood had soaked his shirt and pants. I don’t know why he even did that. Seemed to me that Trish was fond of the blood. That’s a fucked up thing to have to write, but there you go.

James was dead. I wanted to carry him, but I was exhausted and had no fucking clue where I was. I never found the map. I sat down beside his body and wished I had brought something to eat. My fucking side hurt from where Matt tried to gut me. My neck hurt from where Trish tried to gnaw on me.

I woke up today and it was already halfway through the day by my watch. James was as dead as ever. I never went back and checked on Matt and Trish. Fuck em. I gathered up my gear, left theirs, and tried to make my way back. I was tired, lost, confused and hurt. It took me nearly twice as long to find the path we had originally been following. Matt and Trish must have known the area to lead us off and be comfortable coming back. I wonder if they’ll ever be found at all. Someone’s certainly going to report them missing.

I wonder if the police will come and ask me about their whereabouts. I don’t remember telling anybody we were going hiking this weekend, but one of them might have. Maybe someone clever will find this and put two and two together. If they do, will they even believe what I’ve written? I barely believe it.

Like I said, I got lost trying to drive home. It’s a good thing as I as covered in Trish’s blood. The moment I got home I threw up again, not that I had anything in me TO throw up. I took a hot shower and scrubbed myself til I felt like I’d removed an entire layer of skin. Now I’ve got to clean up the mess I tracked in. Mud, blood, leaves… what do I do with my clothes? I’ve got nowhere to burn them. I certainly can’t wash that shit out of them. I’ll figure something out.

I don’t think I’ve got anything more to say. I’ve written my confession while I still remember it all. I want to go to sleep, but every time I close my eyes I see Trish’s face in that flashlight beam, her mouth open and hungry, her long teeth, her black eyes. Maybe I’ll go grab another beer, run myself a hot tub and open a couple of veins.

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